


Placebo

by djiange



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Gender or Sex Swap, Genitals Change due to Magic, M/M, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:55:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29511414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djiange/pseuds/djiange
Summary: This was achingly familiar. They'd been in this position - under this tension - so many times that Uther wouldn't bother to count. Merlin still looked precisely like the ethereal young mage Uther had first met more than three decades ago, when Uther had had to raise his head to see the dragonlord's glowing eyes.
Relationships: Merlin/Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Placebo

**Author's Note:**

> AU in which Uther and Merlin had met before the Great Purge. Merlin's age was unknown but he was at least more than 10 years older than Uther. And Uther here was in his late 40s or early 50s.
> 
> Please be aware the explicit scene contains genitals change due to magic, and hence vaginal sex.

"Is this your little vengeance?"

Uther asked as he pinned Merlin against the bedpost in a futile effort like he used to, knowing Merlin could slip away any second if he wanted.

"Oh for pity's sake, not everything is about you, kid."

"You will not address me by that! I am no longer a kid."

"I will address you by whatever I'd like, and you are to me, _kid_." Merlin gazed into his eyes in an infuriatingly calm way. Uther couldn't bear the cold blue lingering on him.

This was achingly familiar. They'd been in this position - under this tension - so many times that Uther wouldn't bother to count. Merlin still looked precisely like the ethereal young mage Uther had first met more than three decades ago, when Uther had had to raise his head to see the dragonlord's glowing eyes.

"Why are you here?" Uther asked again.

"Were you not listening at the council hall? I gave Arthur a hand on his patrol and he rewarded me with the honour of serving as his manservant."

"And? Why did you let him?"

"Have you met your son?"

"Merlin." Uther tightened his grip.

"Alright, it is about you, but not 'vengeance' per se." In a blink, Merlin was no longer under his hold. "Call it 'negotiation.'"

Uther turned around to the voice coming from his back before seeing Merlin lounging in his chair, behind the other end of his long oak table.

"Let's keep it brief. I'm here on behalf of The Resistance Alliance of Magic, instigated by Rome - surely you could guess it from Lucius' fussing. We demand of Camelot that revoke all forms of ban on magic - abolish the persecution on magical entities, and endorse the practice of magic, the promulgation of magic, and regular trade in magical substances - or Alliance will officially launch an campaign sponsored by Rome in retaliation."

"Belinus the Great defeated Rome in the past and not to mention Rome can barely fend for itself these days. The people of Camelot have no fear for your hollow threat." Uther replied with a neutral expression parallel with Merlin's.

"Yes, but Belinus wasn't alone, was he? You must have heard that both Alined and Olaf were nursing a grievance against your policy due to the smugglers shuttling across the borders. Also you might want to pay more attention to your court - do you think these little uprisings in the vicinity are really spontaneously organised by some radical bandits? Camelot is now beleaguered and isolated, cut off from all possible aid. Your depraved kingdom doesn't deserve the righteous, after all."

Merlin's guise remained nonchalant, but having known him for years Uther knew better to believed him hastily.

"If you renegades have achieved the absolute superiority as you claimed, why bother to come here and 'negotiate'? And why did they send you on your own? How would I know this isn't part of your secret agenda?"

"The official delegation will explain the details to you and the council when they arrive in Camelot without any disruption. I'm here to offer alternative plan. As I said, there is still room for negotiation."

"Pray tell where is the room exactly?"

"Well, you could seal the deal, or I could act as the king-slayer right now, save more dramatic scenes."

"You wouldn't dare."

"You wouldn't want to try me." Merlin challenged.

For some reason, Uther indeed didn't want to try him - human heart could ill afford tests. He casted a glance at Merlin with contempt instead, taking the seat across the table from Merlin.

"Then you are the perfect deterrent to sorcery and people will thoroughly comprehend how it corrodes minds with such uncontrollable power beyond human limitation."

Merlin uttered a snort.

"This is not only about the power, you know it. Magic is not just a tool one could toss away, a weapon invented to exceed the singularity of civilisation; it is part of human milieu all along. Your oppression is an unashamed denial of magical beings' rights to exist."

"Individual sacrifice is well reasoned and necessary when it comes to collective welfare. I do it for integrity and honour, for Camelot's greater good-"

"Cut your horseshite!" Merlin snapped, hurling out of the chair. "You weren't shy to ask a favour of so-called sorcery when you saw fit, were you? Don't you tell me you've never used Gaius' potions. Did you pretend they were simply beverages, or are you now going to say that magic potions don't count as long as there's no pink bubbles sparkling sinfully?" 

He stormed towards Uther until Uther had to face his incandescent outrage.

"Gaius must have told you what I did all these years. You couldn't be that naive to believe you were capable of repelling or even just withstanding the magical onslaughts without any slight bit of intervention from the very bloody sorcery!"

The excruciating accusations droning in Uther's ears, he gave an involuntary shudder at the simple truth he thought he had buried in sophisticated rhetoric. He almost made a snarling sound when he struggled to make sense of himself, "Drastic times call for drastic measures. I am a sagacious ruler with a cautious mind unlike those peasants who have no clue about the hidden impact of magic!"

"Are you?"

Merlin stood too close.

Suddenly Uther found himself deflated under Merlin's scrutiny. He felt like a child, as he had always felt when he had been with Merlin. Uther loathed that look on Merlin's ageless face. Pity, sangfroid, an air of desolation.

"Even if this farce was about misapplication of power, you still couldn't thwart people in their desire to arm themselves, unless you could overpower them or tame them, in which your control freakery and spin have both failed." Merlin's tone went a little milder. "You have no choice, kid. It's not worth it."

Uther wanted to shoot back one more snide retort, but only voiced a pithy, perplexed query. "Why now?"

"Don't play dumb." Merlin waved his hand in a dismissive manner. He stepped away from Uther, and pulled the chair by Uther's right hand. "You know Lucius is unhappy about what happened in Gaul. He doesn't give a damn about the reform - you could have your witch roast as you like, for all he cares. He might as well assign Vortigern's men - or any other parties which profess open hostility to Camelot - as Rome's proxy if Alliance is unable to strike a bargain."

"I mean _you_." Uther shook his head. "It's been twenty-one years. If you have been the guardian of Camelot all this time regardless, what changed?"

Merlin stared into distance for a while without answering. The sudden shift of mood left a lump of soft, numbing horror down Uther's throat.

"Morgana died the other day. I couldn't save her."

It had been five years since Uther had heard of any news about her, the daughter of his late queen, the runaway ward whom he had promised Ygraine to cherish like his own child yet had lost on a bleak midwinter's day. Uther couldn't keep his composure this time, torturously conscious of the shock written on his face as Merlin darted a tentative look at him. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out apart from a sob barely above a rustle.

"Morgause brought her to me after she had left Camelot. She hated me, but agreed to stay and be my apprentice." Merlin revealed. "She was a seer. Ygraine's girls were all born magical as the prophecy claimed."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Uther gathered his voice.

"Don't you understand it was the very reason why she ran away? It wasn't my place to tell you anything, and honestly, we didn't speak in two decades."

Ignoring the bitter undertone in Merlin's words, Uther wilfully stared at one ugly crack on the stone floor.

"What happened?" Then he asked.

"She staged an assassination of Arthur with several druid kids, but got distracted when one of the rookies exposed. Arthur slashed her from behind with that sword forged in dragon's breath - the one I had gifted you and you alone." Merlin eyed him swiftly as he paused. The delicate cruelty wasn't missed by Uther. "They took her back immediately; Arthur didn't see her face." 

"Did she say anything?" Uther managed.

Merlin shook his head. "She was long gone before I made it to their encampment, but her fellow members said she was sorry for failing them all."

 _You should be sorry for failing us all_ , Uther heard it. Fatigue engulfed him like every screaming nightmare eating him alive in the past twenty-one years. Uther thought about the last time he saw Morgana - she looked eerie in the pastel, cold winter light, heedless of the violent storm that could take away any warm, lively breath, as though she didn't belong to this moment, didn't belong to _here_. Everything between the heaven and earth was deadly pale. She said, _the world forgot its own colour, Uther._

"She was a good kid. Should have told her more often." Merlin broke their prolonged silence in a hoarse voice. "It is my fault, the sin I have to atone for. I have let you go too far while neglected my kin for so long. I abandoned them-"

At that, Uther couldn't stand it anymore.

"You abandoned me!" He cried out. "It was you who walked out of that damned door without a word!"

"What? It was not the same thing."

"You and your sorcery betrayed us first. You had made yourself quite clear that you wouldn't be on my side!"

"My leaving had nothing to do with your atrocity! And who the fuck was so eager to get rid of me that he fooled a poor widow into marriage when I was right there?"

"You knew it wasn't true! I had to marry a noble woman when the royal bloodline of Pendragon required me to produce a legitimate heir born by my queen. It meant nothing but responsibility," Uther gritted his teeth, "which was more significant than both of us."

"This fight again? Had to my arse!" Merlin bared his teeth mirroring Uther. "I said a million times before, we could too!"

"It was not natural!"

"Oh, was that so? Did she produce you a naturally born heir then?" Merlin rasped. "You bloody coward."

Uther turned his head in blatant dismissal. _This_. They always ended up like _this_. Maybe they shouldn't have at the very beginning. If Uther had got a bit more of self-control in him, or Merlin had laughed it off like he had done dozens of times before, or if their eyes hadn't met in the feast hall that fateful night when everything shone in blue overlain by the moonlight, then, it wouldn't have been like this.

"You wouldn't understand." Uther exhaled before he spoke again, "I have too many things to attend to as a monarch."

"You really should find a better pretext for your ministerial ineptitude." Merlin snorted. "And do you seriously think I don't?"

"You are just a pagan sorcerer in the wild." Uther said.

"A pagan sorcerer in the wild?" Merlin repeated, and let out a dry chuckle.

"If you're fully aware that I am Emrys, the mightiest warlock in Albion, you will understand I have my ambitions, an obligation to guard the divine laws of nature, and a duty of care for my people from all origins no less than you. I owned the power to move earth and heaven, yet I chose to kneel at your feet, Uther Pendragon. Have you ever wondered where the fact that I didn't destroy you in spite of your Great Purge put me? Did you realize I was a traitor, a shame of magic and old religion owing to my compliance with you? Did you know that I could give up everything for you, for us, even though it was foolish or irresponsible or unforgivable? That I cared about nothing else?"

Merlin put on an ugly, twisted smile.

"You didn't know, or you wouldn't admit. So here we are."

"Then why did you leave?" Uther whispered, seemingly unaffected, because there could be only one answer.

Merlin bowed his head.

For all those years Uther had spent beside Merlin, he had never seen Merlin lose his poise. Granted that Merlin was always clumsy and silly in his way, but he had never been heartily embarrassed about his eccentric mannerism or mind-blowing idiocy. Right now, however, he looked so uncannily sheepish, almost like a boy who was caught killing a bird for fun. It wasn't out of remorse; it was disdain for his own ridiculous presumption decorated with the guilty pleasure in sweet, sweet revenge.

"I thought you wouldn't let go of me."

Of course, it was that. Uther learnt from the worst, after all. Hurting each other with arrogance and apprehension emerging as this pointless brattish petulance, for which they left everyone else to pay in tears and blood and crooked souls. Uther hated it, ever since he had himself drowned in Merlin's eyes for the first time; he loved it, til the fatal annihilation interred them all, together and forever.

Uther yanked Merlin up from the table and strode towards the bed, before shoving Merlin down, pinning him on the bed in their old ways. Merlin didn't protest. He simply lifted his knee and nudged at Uther's groin. Uther didn't even get a half-erection.

"This is the best bribe you can come up with?" Merlin sneered.

Uther ignored his derision. He dug into Merlin's breeches, trying to shut Merlin up by giving his cock a warning squeeze, though he reached nothing but a folded entrance down there.

"Merlin!"

"Too 'unnatural' for your liking?"

Uther bit on his collarbone ruthlessly. Despite the newly-discovered change, Uther still managed to shut him up with a vengeful jerk with two fingers into his vagina at once. 

"Uther! Fuck!"

He didn't wait til he was hard enough or Merlin was wet enough, simply clenching around Merlin's torso with his arms while rocking against the body beneath him in a frenetic pace, without regard to any pleasure for either of them in this bizarre, mechanical activity.

"Slow down. You won't be able to get inside like this." Merlin pushed him a little, attempting to guide Uther's prick, but Uther clamped his wrists again.

"No."

Uther rushed in. It was too dry, too tight. It burned like hell where they joined together. Uther couldn't stop his shaking hands, couldn't breathe, couldn't shut his eyes quickly enough so that tears didn't drop on Merlin's quivering lips.

"Say I am your king, always your king. There is no one who has owned you or will own you but me!"

This was utterly ungraceful, but even the sheer absurdity couldn't call on halt on Uther's fierce yearning at this instant.

"Say it, Merlin!" Uther howled.

"Shhh, don't cry, kid." Merlin cooed. "Yes, yes. There has never been anyone else, my lord."

Merlin sounded patronizing, perfunctory, as though he was coaxing a child, which wasn't untrue in a sense. Yet when Uther opened his eyes, searching for more mockery, he only found Merlin somehow collapsed in tears, face full of ache and sorrow and tenderness as _love_ radiated from his fey, fragile eyes. Uther couldn't tell if it was just the sorcerer's fleeting trick or something harrowingly real, though before he could fathom it out, his heart reacted involuntarily to the view with a vehement tremble, almost pumping out of his chest, sharp acid rushing to his nose.

Uther emitted a wail of anguish when he ejaculated. He kept thrusting his softening cock into Merlin, craving to go further, as though he was trying to fuse them together with this mere connection left between them.

Merlin cradled Uther's head against the crook of his neck, combing Uther's sweaty grey hair with his fingers in a slow, gentle pace, murmuring into his ear, "Hey, it's alright. I'm here, I'm here now. You are safe. You are not alone."

-

The chambers were dim when Uther woke up curling in Merlin's bosom like a newborn baby.

His hand wandered downwards, finding Merlin's penis was back to the place. He tugged it a little, and Merlin squirmed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't." Uther said. "We shouldn't."

"I've decided to stop live like that. You'd better too." Merlin yawned. "Terminate the magic hunt, Uther. It leads to nowhere but the doom."

"Am I a joke?"

"Yes, you are, but not a funny one, just exhausting. Better than a lie."

"And where will you be after this?"

"I have to go back to the settlement for now. There're still unsolved issues with Rome and the rearrangement of those clandestine squads currently laid siege to Camelot. Alliance will come to the assistance of Camelot in my stead during the transition as a return for the legalisation of magic." Merlin patted his cheek. "But don't you worry, kid. I'll protect you, like I always do."

He rained a chain of light kisses on the crown of Uther's head. Uther snuggled up on his shoulder.

There was a knock on the door.

"Sire, Prince Arthur is seeking your permission to send for his manservant."

"He will be in the dining hall soon." Uther replied, pulling himself away from Merlin's chest a little.

"Arthur likes you." He said aloofly.

"Uh?" Merlin made a sound from his nostril. "He is just a kid."

"I am just a kid to you."

"That's why you will eventually outgrow me." Merlin answered without a pause or any other movement, just smiling in his will-o'-the-wisp allure.


End file.
